I finally got them out.
Bryan was still asleep. The morning was gorgeous. The dog wasn't being completely neurotic yet. So I set my stuff up on the front porch, turned on some beautiful piano music (Now I Sleep, by John Albert Thomas, inspired by the mourning of babies), grabbed my teddy bear, my Bible, and a huge glass of sweet tea.
I have this book called God's Treasury of Virtues. Or something along those lines. I don't remember where it came from, but it was on my bookshelf. I flipped to the section about Faith because that's what I've been struggling with so badly since losing my babies. The random page I landed on had a reference for 1 Corinthians 16:13, so I flipped through my Bible until I found it. I decided that's what I wanted to paint so I can hang it up as a daily reminder.
Not quite bad considering I haven't picked up a paint brush in probably six years. Regardless of how it turned out, it felt so great to be painting again. I could have just splattered random colors across that canvas, and it still would have felt equally amazing.
<br>I also finally talked Bryan into setting up the fish tank. I haven't had fish since I left Boston in 2009. (I felt so bad about not being able to take them that I gave them to my neighbor's kids. Tank. Food. Everything. $300+ worth of aquarium stuff just because I couldn't bring myself to flush a $4 fish.) I don't know what it is, but there is something very relaxing about fish. And "relaxing" is definitely something very needed in this household right now.
So far I've only got decorations and water, but I'm sooo very excited.