Friday, June 3, 2011


My little brother was texting me in the middle of the night. Fine, because I'm at work in the middle of the night anyway. But he was upset. His girlfriend broke up with him because he spent the weekend with his best friend instead of texting her. He's 13.

My first thought was "Oh to be that young and innocent again. To have small problems like that rather than the more serious things that hurt me now."

But then I stopped. And I thought back to when I had my heart broken around his age.

I might have been young, but dammit, that heart break hurt! I felt pain, and it was real!

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there are a few of those heart aches I never really got over. Sure, life moved on, things got better as pain was pushed aside, and eventually bigger, uglier things hurt me again. But that pain, that very real pain in that very real situation, still bothers me. It's like a wound that the skin grows over, but the inside never completely heals.

So what did I do?

I started crying. Like a big baby. Because I know how bad he feels right now, and there is nothing in the world I can do to make it feel better. Because I know that he will get another girlfriend and he will be happy again and then he will have another girlfriend after that, but that still doesn't make this pain any easier for him.

I hate when people have their own expectations for my pain and grief. So I can't have expectations for his.

But I can tell him I love him and that I will be home soon. And I think that helped. :-)

On a brighter note, a big thanks to Franchesca over at Small Bird Studios for making my blog pretty!


Reccewife said...

I did a practicum as a school counsellor for a Jr. High School. My biggest lesson was to remember that trivializing their very real hurts wasen't the answer. I needed to remember how much I hurt at their age and see them where their at. Because while I may know that 10 years later this heartbreak is NOT the end of the world they think it is, that doesn't make it hurt less right now.
Good for your for being so good with your brother!

Nika M. said...

I try to make things easier for him. Or at least listen and try to be understanding. He hasn't done well with the rest of us moving out and being so far away.

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