"I have 7 children. 3 are grown and have families. 4 of them died as babies. They are still my babies, and I love them all the same." -- E.
From my much older friend E. She's in her 70s, and she's awesome. She loves her babies. She misses them. She tears up when she talks about them. She holds a baby doll in her lap while she sews and holds it close when she's hurting.
That pain never goes away. But I hope that one day I can carry it as gracefully as she has.