Today is the day.
My flight leaves for home in about 12 hours. I should be sleeping, but I can't. I blame part of it on being anxious. I blame the other part on the 12 hour nap I ended up with after falling asleep while reading my book. But mostly, I think it's the anxiety.
I'm so very excited to see Andy's mom.
But...I'm so not excited about the mess of drama and fueding with my family right now.
I don't want to be part of it. I don't want to be near it. I don't want to hear anything else about it. I almost canceled my flight because that's how bad I don't want this.
I just want these people to realize that they are all adults and it's well past time for them to start acting like it. I live 3000 miles away. I don't like getting phone calls at all hours of the day and night because someone thinks I should be involved in their arguments or that I should defend this or confront that when I haven't been there to be involved. Even more than that, I don't like getting phone calls all hours of the day and night because some relative that doesn't even want to acknowledge my babies wants to bring them into their fight.
My babies have done nothing wrong. My babies have nothing to do with their stupid fights. My babies don't belong in this mess.
I'm trying to remind myself that my parents taught me to be better than that, to not stoop to such lows, to not start or be involved in such stupidity. I'm trying to remind myself that it's just not worth it. I'm trying to remind myself that I have a lot of little kids that I love dearly looking up to me and watching every move I make. I'm trying to remind myself that they deserve a better example than that. I'm trying so hard....
But dammit, I'm so mad. Those are MY babies, and they don't deserve that.