I have a friend, W, back home. She was one of my little sister's closest girl friends in high school, so she's much like a little sister to me. She got married to a great guy last year. He joined the Army earlier this year, and she moved to another state to be with him.
We were both pregnant at the same time, only a couple months apart. In April, we both lost our babies, about 15 days apart.
She was young. She was alone, since he was still in training. She was terrified.
Seeing her like a little sister, I couldn't bare to see her in pain. Especially not THAT pain. I couldn't do much, being 3000 miles away, but I wanted to help so bad. She didn't want to bother me, since I had just lost my own baby, but I told her to call/text/email, whatever she needed to do, whenever she needed to. I know that pain and horror all too well to turn her away, no matter how bad my own pain.
Last night I woke up to an email from her.
A few weeks ago, she found out she was pregnant again. She was terrified. She wasn't quite ready for that so soon. She's been horribly sick this time. So bad that she lost 12 pounds in about 2 weeks. She finally broke down and went to the doctor again because she was so miserable and not keeping anything down.
Her ultrasound showed a perfect placenta. But no baby.
She was given the option of waiting for her body to pass the placenta naturally or go ahead with a D&C. She's in shock, understandably, and is overwhelmed by such a hard decision. A D&C would likely help kill the nausea and get her feeling somewhat better sooner, but she feels like she's killing her baby, even though there's no baby there. Naturally would put her through more sickness and pain, and she feels like she's reliving April's nightmare all over again.
To top things off, she's dealing with military doctors. (Many of you know how that can be. That's a nightmare in its own.) The doctor wants to do genetic testing on the placenta, but they are running into problems with approval because it's not her third loss. I'd like to punch whoever came up with that rule. I remember the head nurse trying to tell me that, and I wouldn't have any of it. Obviously, whoever thought of that has never endured that kind of loss or pain.
I should stop now before I get off on a very heated rant about military medical and ridiculous rules and the medical staff who really should find other professions that don't require dealing with people or sensitive issues.
Please keep W and her husband in your prayers.